How To Dress Like A Tourist

It's an art to look like a tourist. In our travels I've seen many success stories. Here are some suggestions to help you along that path:

• Buy new white sneakers (or those wonderful neon ones out this year). Be sure not to wear them until your trip so that they won't get smudged. If you're into sandals rather than sneakers, wear them with white socks, especially if they are flip flops. 

• Always wear a fanny pack. It makes it much easier for the pickpockets to know where your valuables are and they will amaze you with their skill in unzipping even the most challenging zippers. While we're on accessories, you might also want to carry a tote that sports a large logo of your tour agency, cruise ship, or family reunion emblem. (Family reunion shirts are a must as well.) This also helps identify you for the scammers particularly in Paris.

• To truly stand out in a crowd in Europe be sure to wear your Caribbean or Hawaiian shirts. The louder and more colorful the better.This is sure to bring a smile to the faces of the locals. Conversely your dark blues, blacks and grays are sure to make a hit in the really warm climates.

• If you are traveling to Europe to visit all those wonderful old cities with beautiful cathedrals be sure to wear shorts and sleeveless blouses. The officials at the door love turning tourists away for improper attire. Or if you visit Bangkok, the Grand Palace, you want to be wear those shorts and sleeveless blouses so that you can be issued flowered balloon pants and cover-ups passed along from one tourist to another in order to tour the grounds. 

• Always wear your best gold and diamond jewelry where it can be seen. It lightens the step of the thief behind you. 

• Wear your security pouch with your passport, money, and other valuable paper work around your neck and in front of you outside your shirt where you can easily reach it.

• And lest we forget the most valuable tourist emblem, find a fancy strap for that camera and put it around your neck right next to that security pouch. Do not hide it in a tote bag or backpack to use later. Wear it proudly. You are a tourist!!